One of the most disturbing trends in our society today is the bystander syndrome- the phenomenon of staying silent in public in an acute crisis moment of anything from an accident to animal abuse to sexual violence. People choose silence over speaking up, reserve over reaction, muteness over utterance. It’s as though the whole society has gone numb. Perhaps their heart draws them to the site of dire disaster but equally soon the brain rejects their reflexive response and nudges them to move away and ‘mind their own business’. And this has become a culture of sorts and a defining mob mentality or herd behaviour.
Who will break the ice? I feel that women have it in them to lead this change. After all, as mothers, as caregivers, as role models, your acts of kindness and service publicly, will set an example, particularly for younger generations. Even as the society is relegated into shadows of self-doubt, silence and mute spectatorship, the onus is on you to become the change that they want to see. Care, concern, empathy are qualities that come naturally to women but these need to be demonstrated in the public domain. We should be proud of that side of ours and not be apologetic or ashamed about it. Moreover, for some reason, a woman doing a certain thing, catches more eyeballs and is noticed way more and the message gets amplified. So why not be associated with being a positive role model and constructive messaging.
Also, if what we want is equity and innovation in society, we need to be that individual who sets the gold standard and nothing less than that. For that one has to be an active participant rather than passive. I read a quote somewhere that people can be divided into three groups- those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. Women need to be captain of the first group. For every accident that you witness, for every violent act on the road when people are numbed into silence of mute spectatorship, I feel the onus is on you to squarely look at the crisis in its face and take it head on.
Let me share my own example. I was at the petrol pump getting fuel filled in my car the other day when this road accident happened across the road between a car and a scooter. The man riding the scooter was severely injured while the car did flee away. Everyone at the petrol pump rushed across the road in a matter of seconds but the same crowd dissipated, and people vanished equally fast as they came, leaving the accident victim alone. Worse, those who were left were making reels or asking the victim why he didn’t yell at the car driver who hit him. Writhing in pain, and almost semi-conscious the accident victim just went and sat down on the pavement. An emotion stirred within me and I decided in my head to help this person. No sooner had I offered to take him to the hospital, than some people joined me in- whether it was a daily wage worker who offered to help me ferry this victim along to the hospital or the doctors at the emergency ward of the hospital. The Good Samaritan Law passed recently by the Supreme Court now ensures that bystanders are not insisted to divulge their personal particulars or detained in the hospital for interrogation and saving life must be the top priority. I must mention that the hospital took care of all the expenses, allowed me to go almost within thirty minutes and did not even take a single penny for registration of the accident victim case in the emergency department. Few days later, someone put up a social media post appreciating my efforts which I thought were simply a drop in the ocean. But that is the power of an individual. It takes one person to pave the way- and only a matter of igniting the spark and many people will join you.
Women taking the lead in helping others in public view can have a profound impact on society. It creates long-term changes that promote a more balanced, inclusive, supportive society for everyone. Know that you are the one to transform your communities and have it in you to become the Changemaker.
